Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart...

Mary heard the story of the shepherds learning that Jesus had been born. They looked for the Messiah, Jesus, born in Bethlehem. Strangers were visiting her in the barn where she delivered her baby. Angels told of His birth.  Luke 2:19 says "but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often."

I've been reading Spurgeon's Morning & Evening this year. In the January 27 entry for evening, Spurgeon writes, "There was an exercise, on the part of this blessed woman, of three powers of her being: her memory-she kept all these things; her affections-she kept them in her heart; her intellect-she pondered them; so that memory, affection and understanding were all exercised about the things which she had heard."

I can't even imagine not talking about the AWESOME things Mary experienced in this time of her life. I realize no one would really be able to connect to what she was living out in these days. God's presence was so real around her. I mean, Mary was holding God in the form of a baby in her arms!  Most of the people in my world don't get it when I express God's presence being real in my life. They smile and politely nod.

I'm sure she heard the prophecies of what the Messiah would do in his life. I wonder if she knew of the ultimate life giving sacrifice He would share with all. Kept them in her heart...

When the troubled times come, I find myself pondering on the treasures I have experienced over the years...the words, the looks, the victorious moments. I don't expect others to understand my life. I may share what I'm going through in the moment. Saying it out loud makes it more real and helps me to take action on the troubles. But remembering what treasures He has shared with me on my journey gives me strength to move forward.

Everyone is wired in their own way. I cannot look to people in my life to understand my thoughts and emotions. My journey is exactly that...MY journey.  I don't want to do it alone. God didn't create us to journey alone. We need each other....  I realize that in the moments my mind needs to quiet, along with the Bible, the things I can ponder-the memories, affections and intellect-carry me through.

Spurgeon continues, "...make your heart the golden pot of manna to preserve the memorial of the heavenly bread whereon you have fed in days gone by. Let your memory treasure up everything about Christ which you have either felt, or known, or believed, and let your fond affections hold Him fast forevermore. Love the Person of your Lord! Bring forth the alabaster box of your heart, even though it be broken, and let all the precious ointment of your affection come streaming on His pierced feet. Let your intellect be exercised concerning the Lord Jesus. Meditate upon what you read; stop not at the surface: dive into the depths. If your spirit cannot compass the Lord Jesus in the grasp of understanding, let it embrace Him the arms of affection."

Lord, help me, in these days, when I feel disconnected and weary, to ponder the things You have given me for my journey. When I don't understand, help me to embrace You in affection. Help me to move past the hurt and resentment and bring my brokenness to You. Apply Your healing balm. Help me to remember Your provision of the past. Help me to just LOVE YOU LORD.